Why Hare is Nocturnal - A Pourquoi Tale

Once upon a time, when the earth was still young, the hare still slept at night and worked in day like all other animals. One day while the hare was still in bed on a sunny spring morning, he heard a knocking at his door.

“What?” he mumbled sleepily.

“It’s me! Speeecial delivery!”

Hare slowly bounced to the door. He contemplated what this could be. Heron was the mailman for the entire country, and door deliveries were rare. As he sluggishly opened the door, Heron wagged his finger at him and held out a letter.

“You better be faster if you’re going to work for the king.”

“What? Really?”

Hare snatched the letter out of Heron’s hand and tore it open, scanning over the basics of the letter. It was true! He had been accepted as the Chief Courier to the King!

“You’re lucky that the king is accepting you after the incident with Tortise. You better be on your best behavior.”

Hare grimaced.

“I’m different now! Really! But I’m still faster than everyone else, and no offense, but even you!”

Heron looked at him skeptically and then shrugged, resigned.

“Whatever you say, Hare.”

The next morning, Hare was on his best behavior. He woke up at precisely 5:30 AM and got to the palace at 6 to meet the wise Elephant that Lion had given his crown to in his dying breaths. At the minute the sun’s first rays touched the king’s throne, he knelt with his head bowed respectfully. He heard King Elephant lumber up to the seat and sit himself down.

“Ah, hello Hare. Congratulations on becoming my Chief Courier. Not everyone can do it, you know. You did a very fine job on your intelligence test and your sprint times were amazing! But I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve found that you have not been very dedicated during previous events. Obviously competition does not spur you into action, as shown in your history. So I’ve decided to go on an honor system. If you deliver my letters and packages properly, nothing will happen. I’m willing to give you a second chance, Hare. So today, I’m giving you this packet to read by tomorrow. You can start delivering then. Since I just started my rule a few months ago, I have had few packages to send until now. Anyway, you may return to your dwelling and begin reading.”

Hare fidgeted uncomfortably, still waiting for Elephant to tell him he could rise. After a few minutes, the king realized his mistake.

“Oh, my apologies, you may rise. I’m really sorry, like I said, I’m new to this business.”

Hare looked up, grateful, when he saw the packet. His eyes bugged out.

“Ah, yes, it is a bit big, isn’t it? Well, I have complete confidence in you. Now, go on!”

Hare went back home and sighed. He looked at the packet again. He began leafing through it when after lunch, he began to feel drowsy. He thought to himself One nap couldn’t hurt, right? I have 17 full hours before I really have to read this. Plus, I am the fastest animal in all the savannah, so I shouldn’t have a problem. So Hare laid himself into bed and dozed off, dreaming about his job as  Chief Courier, racing around at top speed and being the hero of the entire country.

Hare was jerked back to reality and looked at the sun outside. Oh no! The sun wasn’t there anymore, just the moon. It was already 11 o’clock! Hare panicked and started madly flipping through the pages. Owl, who was nocturnal to begin with, saw this and he coined the term “Mad as a March Hare”. But that’s another story. So when Hare finally finished the booklet, it was already 5:30 and time to get ready for his first day at work.

King Elephant looked at Hare, standing at attention... kind of. Hare felt completely exhausted, but he couldn’t figure out why. He told the king that he was ready for his first assignment. The king skeptically raised an eyebrow but nonetheless gave him the package for delivery that was clearly marked in bold red print “IMPORTANT: TO BE DELIVERED TO COUNCILMAN FROG ASAP” Hare blearily focused on Elephant.

“So, um, who am I delivering this to?”

King Elephant frowned and pointed to the package. Hare grinned.

“Oh, yeah. I knew that. I’ll deliver it ASAP, Your Majesty.”

Elephant looked disapproving again, but still waved him away.

“Go on. You do know where Councilman Frog lives, correct?”

The king chuckled at his own joke. Even the smallest children knew where the infamous Frog lived. In the giant red toadstool house, the distinctive color was hard to miss.

“Well, maybe. The...um... purple one, right?”

The king looked at him incredulously and decided that he must be going along with his joke.

“Yes, yes, just go on.”

Hare rushed out of the palace and sprinted toward the purple house in the next district. He had the entire day to make a 6 hour journey, round trip. This would be a piece of cake! He hopped as fast as he could until he became unbearably tired. It was only 8 o’clock! He flopped on the ground surprised at the sudden bout of fatigue and his eyelids drooped. Well, I do have 22 full hours to make it to Frog’s purple condo and back right? So a measly 1 hour snooze wouldn’t make a difference.Even if I didn’t make it, I can run faster than the wind itself and make it to Frog’s house and back. Hare closed his eyes and drifted off to dreamland once again...

Hare bolted upright, startled at the sudden cry of “HOO HOO” in his ear.

“AHHHHH! What was that for?”

“Hoo! I thought you might be injured so I HOOed as loud as I could to see if you were awake.”

“Well, I’m awake now. Hey, I thought you only awoke at night, not the day.”

“Hoo! Well, if you use your eyes, it is nighttime. It’s 12 o’clock.”

Uh oh. Hare looked around and realized his dire situation. He jumped up and told Owl that he was going to Frog’s house to deliver his package.

“That might take a while. You’re 2 provinces away, right? Hoo!”

Double uh oh. Now Hare had only 6 hours to hop the full trip of... Hare did some quick calculations. Triple uh oh. The full trip of 8 hours. This might be a problem. He had to get going, pronto!

“Gotta go Owl! See you around!”

He ran off, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

The next morning, Hare looked even more disheveled than the day before. He had made it to the palace... at 8 o’clock. He looked meekly up at the king.

“Now, Hare, I would like to know what all this gossip going around is all about.”

Hare was stunned. His mind raced. What had happened? Gossip? What was there to gossip about?

“Why does Owl report that she found you sleeping in the next province over at midnight with your package still undelivered? And that you were sleeping the day before that and waking up at 11 to start reading as ‘mad as a March Hare’? And that she found you every single night before that partying or doing last minute work?? Many of your neighbors also report that you have been sleeping frequently throughout the day.”

Hare thought back. He had partied and procrastinated quite a few times, but it didn’t seem like that much. After all, he was so fast. He had never had problems.

“If you are going to sleep the day away and stay up all night, you might as well be nocturnal! Hare, I was obviously wrong about you. I know better know that you are unresponsible. But the best punishment is giving people the thing they want most. So I, as King, officially decree that you, Hare, and all of your descendents must be nocturnal and not do any day duties, instead doing night duties, since that seems to be what you love most!”

Hare slunk off, mortified, and was ridiculed by the entire country because of his procrastination. Added on to the previous Tortise Incident, the teasing and mocking was ramped up to even higher levels. Some animals even stayed up late just to tell him about it. But soon the craze had faded away into just a memory. Even to this very day, Hare still remains nocturnal in fear of further taunts of “Half-Asleep Hare” and “Slowpoke Sleepyhead”.

The Average Day of a Young Irmisosuan

During my travels as an anthropologist, I had the liberty of visiting a particularly interesting community by the name of Irmisosu. I was assigned to a family in this community that went by the name of Lai. The main subject of my research was the oldest child in the family, a 12 year old girl named Isabel. Though they may not seem especially unusual so far, I observed many strange quirks throughout my visit. Children in Irmisosu are ritually initiated into a strange repository at a young age. I also studied some of the habits of the youngest child. He was often found staring directly into a strong light source, burning out his retinas. However, no parental action was taken.  
         
In the morning the child would ceremoniously force herself to listen to shrill, high pitched tones. Then at the crack of dawn, would arise from the box that she slept on. Once off of her hard, angular box, she would proceed to yank a wooden club bristling with spikes through her hair and squeeze a thick, brown paste onto a plastic stick to put in her mouth. The people of Irmisosu believe that, without this paste along with long strands of string that often cause bleeding in the gums, their health will decay dramatically. Then she will proceed to bind every individual strand of hair into a formation involving using a piece of stretchy-string to secure the strands.
         
After this ritual, Isabel proceeds to walk, only to board a clunky, tawny colored metal box-on-wheels that takes her to the repository. At the repository, she walks around aimlessly for 30 minutes before a screeching alarm alerts them to each division, or work group. These work groups are commanded by a high master, a person whom demands the utmost respect and obedience from children. Between each work group, children must ferry around sacks that weigh 20+ pounds while navigating crowded passageways within a time limit of five minutes. In some of these work groups she does various things like jabbing with memorized strokes at a slab of plastic or staring at inkblots and telling the high masters what she thinks the inkblot means. Or reviewing and identifying various shapes. Or observing and identifying rocks.
         
Upon the completion of her seven hours of service to the repository for the day, she is shuttled to her dwelling in the tawny box-on-wheels where she is forced to work for 3 or 4 more hours, most of which involve using a device that worsens her vision by flashing sharp lights into her face, which in turn is magnified into higher proportions by the pieces of molded and heated sand she must wear over her eyes. Using this device usually involves mindless, repeated tapping on its surface to create and shape the inkblots the high master requests. It is unknown what exactly the high masters do with the toil of hours of labor that the children create, however Isabel did say that a number was assigned to the project and then returned to the child.
         
When the work is all finished, Isabel and the rest of the family participate in a ritual that is performed by most Irmisosuans. It involves stepping into a scalding-hot barrage of a very dangerous chemical that if inhaled, will cause imminent death. When in the small, claustrophobic chamber, one must now slather oneself with many thick chemical gels. Extra gel is typically provided for the scalp. Then the individual must painfully scrape the scalp in repeated motions. The ritual is completed when you attack your hair with a high powered jet-blast of oven-like temperatures.
         
To complete the day, Isabel would again apply the sticky paste to her teeth and gums, wash her mouth ceremoniously and climb back into her box, and get ready for another day at the repository.
         
In conclusion, the Irmisosuan culture is extremely interesting and should deserve further study in the field of cultural anthropology. From what I have observed so far, the Irmisosu people are very durable, especially the children who get sent to the harsh repository. Isabel even seems to enjoy her work at the repository. I personally would enjoy coming back to Irmisosu to conduct a more detailed study, especially on family dwellings and their inner workings.

Angry Cheyenne

Cheyenne.  Say that name to anybody in Manifest, Kansas and they would imagine a image of perfect heaven:  curly long brown hair, freckles and bright blue eyes and the best humanatarian in town.  Only one problem:  anger.

Cheyenne was on her daily routine after school:  run through homework, help out at the nursery home, and tutor at school.  She was a very organized young girl and disliked anything out of the order.  In fact, she bottled her anger every day and did pretty well at school.  Anything not on her perfect schedule shouldn't be happening.

How did she get over this predicament?  One day she was called to the counsler of gifted education, Mrs. Brock.  She assumed it was about her "problem".  When she got there she sighed and repeated everything every counsler told her.

"Okay Mrs. Brock, whatever.  I said it.  Can I go now?  This is interfering with my schedule."

"No my dear,"  Mrs. Brock said.  "Today we're just having fun."  Cheyenne started to yell in protest, but Mrs. Brock soothed her in her calm ways and gave her a quiz.

Cheyenne loved quizzes, and Mrs. Brock knew that.  It softened up her mood.  Then they played games:  Hide-and-go-seek, Mystery Box, and board games.

One day Mrs. Brock turned her life upside down.  That day during math class she was called to the counsler. Mrs. Brock said she was excused from school today and she may not do anything other than have fun.

Mrs. Brock had a plan.  Cheyenne knew it, but she went along with it anyway.  Mrs. Brock had one strength in her plan.  Cheyenne knew she had a plan but she didn't know exactly what it was.

Cheyenne rode home on her bike.  She wandered around the house looking for something to do.  She finally gave into the cookies on the counter and grabbed a soda.  She sat on the couch.  Tried to do something.  Wandered around town.  Finally she went back to school.

Cheyenne complained to Mrs. Brock.  "All day, I wandered around town, doing nothing!"

Mrs. Brock only replied, "Just think about it Chey.  Just think about it."

The next day, Cheyenne's friend, Madeline, said, "did you see that CD that came out yesterday?  It was all over town!"

The it hit her.  Anger was why she didn't have fun.  Mrs. Brock was trying to tell her that.

After school, she came bursting out of the school and hurridly biked to the counsler's office.  "I got it.  I got it!"  Cheyenne bursted with anticipation.  "It's anger isn't it?  Right?"

"You got it!"  Mrs. Brock exclaimed.

Now Cheyenne accepts that there are better things to do than being angry.

Lidia's Journel

"I'll get you when I get out of prison," he hissed, with an almost evil grin on his face.  Lidia shrieked as loud as a foghorn.  That's how Lidia Spark woke up almost every day for 3 months.  "The nightmare," she whispered, then fainted.

Lidia was sent here 3 months ago in August, 1754, St. Solicitous, Rhode Island, all covered in bruises and scratches.  She even had a black eye and whip marks on her back.  Lidia had a wonderful family back then: a beautiful mom, an intelligent dad with their only child, blond haired and startling bright, ocean blue eyes.  But that was then.  After her mother died nothing seemed right anymore.  Lidia literally lived off her closet after then, most of her personal belongings missing too.  Her dad beat her up everyday so he was arrested for child abuse, which was why she was in an orphanage and more importantly was why she was terrorized at the sight of an adult.

The first time cook came in with supper, cook started introducing herself to Lidia as the cook of St Solicitous orphanage.

Lidia let out a blood-curdling scream and masked herself from cook by diving in the closet and locked herself in.  It even took 3 hours for her best friend, Oliver, to coax her out of it.  By now everybody knew not to let Lidia catch sight of a grown-up of the punishment was an ear-splitting shriek.  There is one more thing I need to tell you.  Lidia has a journel she writes madly in.  She has recorded every single hour of her life ever since she could write.

That afternoon she wrote about pea-soup with bolonga, nothing exciting, but she wrote it down nevertheless.  She (left) her journel on her desk.

The next thing she knew Oliver was shaking her and loud bell was ringing.  Then Oliver choked.  "Liddy!  There's a fire in the house!  Let's get out of here!"

"Be right there," Lidia mumbled, still drowsy.  Then Oliver's words sank in and she stumbled out of bet, swiped a pen and her journel and got out of there.

The day after the fire, Lidia's entry read "November, 1754 I am worried about my dad.  Now that I have nowhere to go, my dad is sure to hunt me down, as his sentence to jail ends in."

That's all what was there.  The rest was too wet to read.  That day at midday, Oliver mysteriously vanished.  Day by day, Lidia got better at not screaming at the sight of an adult, but occasionally one would slip out.

One day she had enough courage, and pennies, to go to the train station where she had to buy a ticket to some place where her dad wouldn't find her so easily.  When she got there, she slipped and fell over the edge, when soneone, something caught her.  Was Oliver back to save her?  She looked back, screamed, and tried to writhe free of the iron-hard grip on her wrist when the woman said "Hi, my name's Marge nice to know your acquaintance!"

"Um, hi?" croaked Lidia.

"What 'chya doin' out here?  I've seen you out on the streets writing in that journel of yours."  Marge shouted. Lidia blushed "Thank you miss," Lidia said politely.  "No miss," Margie said.  "Why are you out by yourself."  Lidia told her the story.  When  it was over she said, "Hon, I am gonna take you to the adoption center right now."  Lidia was stunned.

"You mean," Lidia stammered.

"Yes, that's what I mean," Margie said to her.

Five months later

Lidia lived a happy life and so did Margie.

The Prankster's Lesson

On a lousy afternoon after a bad day at school,
I was stomping down the street with my trusty duffel bag slung around my shoulder.

My name is Brody.

"Why do we have to go camping with our troop anyway?," I grumbled
still tramping towards the bus that would take me to
mosquitoes, prickly pines and cold food:  camping.

When we got there, I almost opened a can of soda,
though better of it, shook it up and
gave it to our leader.  And turned around so he wouldn't see me smirking.

Everyone heard him open the can
and when it sprayed him,
I whirled around in sync with everyone else
gaping, trying my best to look innocent.

That night while everyone was asleep after creepy ghost story.
I sneaked out of my tent soundlessly.
I could hear the crickets chirping,
inhaling the aroma of pine as I padded along in my socks and moaned 3 times pretty dramatically,
then with 1 last groan I scrambled back to my tent, panting hard.

Well, I don't know exactly what happened but I did get spanked.

Today our leader was going on about something about not going into the forest.
That night I slept like a log prepared for my journey the next day.
After breakfast I sneaked out into the so-called "Forbidden Forest" aka. Shady Waters.
5 minutes later I was sitting by the spring drinking cool water, when I saw a red flash.
Next thing I knew I was being chased by a coyote
while I was screaming and yelling, "Eeek! Help me!! I'm being chased by a coyote!!"
I tripped over a rock and howled in pain.
An adult came and scared the coyote away
and then gave basic first-aid to my bleeding ankle.
Only then did I realize that it was my leader that helped me.
Through chapped lips I mumbled,

"How did you know I was here?"
"I heard your cries for help and I came immediately," he said still wrapping the bandages,
"Next time though remember it's important to listen and to respect adults.
I suddenly realized that respecting adults could get you out of big trouble.
I apoligized to him.

Now I am very polite to everyone, especially adults.

The Cousins of Andy

Once upon a time there was a family who was going on a trip to their cousins' house.
In the family was a 8 year old boy named Andy, his 12 year old sister Aggie, and their parents.

On the day of the trip Aggie got up and went to her brother's room to wake him up.
Aggie woke her brother and saw that he was glum,
whereas when they usually went to their cousins' house he had ants in his pants.

Aggie asked, "What's wrong? Have you waken up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Slowly and cautiously Andy questioned her, "Promise you won't tell?"
"Promise," replied Aggie.

So steadily Andy let the cat out of the bag,

"Well our cousins just drive me up the wall,
they kick me and hit me until I'm bruised and scratched,
but I'm too scared to tell mom and dad."

"Well," started Aggie considering.

Just then their parents shouted, "Aggie! Andy! Let's hit the road!"

So minutes later the two of them in the driveway.
Then Aggie suddenly ran into the house leaving Andy to wonder.

Meanwhile, Aggie was spilling the beans to her parents,
reminding them carefully to not tell Andy until the right time.

The family got in their car and drove to their cousins' house which took 4 hours;
to Andy time flew too fast.

When they got there Andy groaned,
caught himself
and quickly changed his pained expression to a wide grin.

His sister whispered, "Take this bull by the horns!"

Andy gulped nervously,
he had butterflies in his stomach.

When the cousins started poking Andy in the back,
he hissed to one of them, Abby,
"Cut it out!"

When Syd kicked him under the table he said,
"Stop being a wet blanket!"

At the end of dinner Andy mustered up all his courage and told his parents,
"Our cousins are a bad egg," while showing them a bruise.

His mom told him that the matter was already settled by telling the cousins' mother.
Andy felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders.
The matter of the cousins was settled.

Letter

Dear Beth,

Today I went to Hannah and Mary's house to make apple cider.
I had a great day!
Making apple cider was not hard,
all we had to do is we took out the seeds by cutting apples in half with a knife,
then we chopped all the apples.
After that, we got 2 boards to squeeze the juice out while,
I got the bucket to hold the juice.
Finally we got a barrel & saved it.

Sincerely,
Isabel

First Swim Lessons

My hands were playing nervously in the crystal clear water.

I was sitting on the pool steps of
the Springfield Gymnastics and Aquatics Center.

I was thinking about how much I think I'm going to stink.

"Come on up, Isabel.", said my instructor, Kelsey, disrupting my thoughts.

I walked out in the water.

When my teacher let go I felt a rush of panic,
"Oh no! I can't swim!" thought half of my mind.
"Calm down, Isabel. You can do it." thought the other half.

This fight of thoughts kept going until my arms started to flash wildly and I was kicking serverely trying to keep afloat the water.

I was splashing everyone in sight!

I tried taking a gulp of air, my chest felt stuffy.
I felt the pool bottom scraping my feet,
my hands trying to jerk myself over and into the air.

I swallowed a mouthful of pool water instead of fresh air.

Kelsey tapped my back and told me to get up.

I cane out of the water, smiling sheepishly,
face red hot as a tomato thinking
"Please don't laugh at me! This is my first time!"

But the kids were laughing so loud it filled the room.
I went back to the steps quietly.
My legs were sore from franticly kicking,
arms aching from trying to hard to keep on top of the water.

Now I've told you my most regrettable story I have,

so far...

The Perky Turkey

There once was a turkey in Turkey,
For she was a little bit quirky.
She did an experiment
It didn't do as she meant
And now she is quite a bit perky.

Travel Trouble

My family and I were on the plane to our family vacation.
But little did we know that it would be the most exciting,
but terrifying time in our lives.
We were on a 2 stop flight from Springfield to Dallas and all the way to Portland.
When we landed at gate D6 in Dallas and unbuckled our seatbelts,
the captain announced that the flight to Portland, Oregon was at gate A39.
"Gate A39!!!" I thought,
"That's across the airport!"
When we exited the plane
we went to a skylink stop that went to gates A20-A39.
While I was looking at a near-by store
when my family got on a skylink that would take them to all A gates.
I got on a skylink where I thought I saw my mom.
Glancing around, I looked for my mom.

I didn't see her!

"How could I be so stupid?" I thought.
Panicking when the door suddenly closes,
I hurridly get off on the next stop,
where I anxiously wait for the next train
the next superiorly fast train took me to gate A39
where I happily bounded out of the skylink.
Breathing a sigh of relief when I get off the train.
I plan to go to my gate to wait
when patting myself on the back.
Gasping, I touch my shoulder to find I forgot my backpack!
Turning around just in time to grab my backpack and spring out.
My only thought was,
"Yes! I found it!"
Walking for what seemed like miles until I got to gate A39,
seeing my mom and brother, assuming they send my dad to find me.
"Thank goodness" I thought,
feeling relieved,
all stress gone for a moment.

Ethan, my brother, spotted me and said to my mom,
"Look! There's Isabel!"
Our mom swiveled around and after our "reunion"
she started to scold me while we waited for my dad to arrive.
While we boarded the plane
my mom finally stopped and hugged me viciously,
then said,
"Isabel, be more responsible by paying attention to your family."

"OK, mom, I will."

Fall Walk

A hike in the woods,
Listen to the leaves rustle
In the moonlight wind.

The Three Little Elephants and Seeking thier Fourtune

By:Isabel

Dedicated to: Dad

Once upon a time there were three little elephants, whose mom said "You must go out and seek your fortune".

So the three little elephants went out to seek there fortune.

One day they came to a forest and the first little elephant said,"I will have to live here I want to see mother every day to bring her peanuts." So the first little elephant set up a house of leaves in the forest by the bank because nobody came by with a wheelbarrow full of straw,as in most fairy tales.

Once they said goodbye to their brother they set off for the bay and found an island on the way,"I shall live here on this island, tis a very beautiful place" said the second elephant,for he loved history.So he lived in a hut of fruits because nobody came around with a wheelbarrow full of sticks as they would usually do and so he lived there on Old Time Island teaching history major in Elephant University.

The last elephant said farewell and went out to seek his fortune. This might be a good time to tell you their names The 1st elephant's name is Bobby,Hist, and Mr.Smartypants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA! It's really funny but he's sooooooooooooooooooooooo smart! I mean he's conquered flying dragons,evil vill.....

oops I better get on with the story before I forget so he went on and on and on until he got to a cottage in the woods he went to meet the person in the cottage.He found a elephant just like he.He said hi and asked the name she said,"My name is Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" Hmmm he thought That's my mom's name! So he lived there and exclaimed "This looks like my house!" He thanked the elephant,who had an awfully similar flowered skirt as his mom,and left.

He went to visit his 1st bro.When he found that his legs were tired he found a house of leaves in the forest. He met yet another elephant,who had what looked quite like his 1st bro's luck nut,and asked his name "My name is Bobby"he cried.Hmmm he thought That's my 1st bro's name!He thanked the elephant for his kindness and went on thinking I still don't have a home.

So he went on avoiding the thought.He got so distracted he went on until he reached Old Time Island and saw a hut of fruits. Disappointed he went into the hut and found two elephants he quickly ran out face red as strawberries. He quickly realized that his home was with him all along. Around the world.

THE END

Bob Saves The Day (Cont)

"Why you silly. You can't unleash us!
We're the King's pet!"

Bob smacked himself again,
"Oh! Thanks alot!" he said astonished.

When he started to walk home
he realized he had done nothing but scare himself silly
and making a bad impression for old people,
or well anything exept saving the day or doing anything good.

Bob felt ashamed of himself. but he also felt somewhat exited to.

The next day Bob woke up by an astonishing sound,
his mother & father screaming at a giant uh......... thingy that Bob couldn't reconize.
It looked like a......er.....a giant light thingy and
what his house he thought he was dreaming, but he was in a dollhouse!

So he popped his head out the window.
"Boy, the sun sure is shining today!"
He said in the blistering heat.
Without noticing he was in a oven.

His neighbors looked at him in a "What the?" way.
Then when he realized he was in an oven,
he got his E.O.I.P. (Emergency Oven Ice Packs)
He had 15 dozen and 60 turkeys including himself.
While doing quick math
he yelled to the turkeys and gave 3 to each one.
He told the turkeys to throw one at the light to make it go off
if it doesn't work throw a second one,
please don't throw them all at the same time
because they will all blow up
(he knows because he used to have 360 of them)
so everyone threw one at each light
the lights flickerd and went off.

Then he got his E.O.T.O.P. (Emergency Open The Oven Pack)
he got one of the 360 (he was afraid to throw them in the air)
and threw it towards the oven door
it had 4 wrenches and screwdrivers
they wooshed to the openings (screws and bolts)
and screwed and bolted the door open.

The turkeys are saved!

They shouted with joy and hugged him with delight.
So thats the day Bob saved the day!

P.S. That was great.

P.P.S. I wasn't in the oven.

P.P.P.S. He got more E.O.T.O.P. (Emergency Open The Oven Pack).

P.P.P.P.S. He also got more E.O.I.P. (Emergency Oven Ice Packs).

Bob Saves The Day

by: Uncle Turkey

illustrated by: Aunt Turkey

HI!

This is a story where my naphew saves the day.
But before I can tell you that story
I have to tell you this story.

One day in Turkey's, capital city, 1988,
My brother, Billy Jhon Susset,
Had a baby and named him
Bob Sooop Naashaaa Tookna Soopoo Lunespy Puke.
Now remember the guy with the long funny name saves the day.

So Bob (Soop Naashaaa Tookna Soopoo Lunespy Puke) went to see the movie Bolt,
it was a movie about this super turkey that thought he had super powers
but he didn't.

He accidently got shipped to New York (He came from Hollywood, CA).
So whenever Bob got done with the movie
he thought he had super powers and tried to do good things
like possibly saving the day.

That's when the disaster struck,
he went to the Sears Tower and jumped off it
thinking he would start to fly
so when he realized he was falling not flying
he got his cellphone
and he was such in a panic
he pressed 211 instead of 911 and called the Helpers' that Don't do anything right,
he said sorry wrong number
and so he finnaly called 911 after a hour or so
and said
fire department, fire department!
I'm falling!

the fire fighters came when Bob was trembling on a matress in the dumpster.
After he got to his house the next day
he tried to unleash turkeys who where going to be put into the oven.

He went to the Eat Eat More Turkeys,
he tried to break open cages
but it didn't work
because the old turkey took one look at Bob and said,

"you look like a turkey that tried to fly off the Sears Tower
but fell and landed on a matress in the dumpster."

Bob smacked his wing on his forehead and said,

"Yep. That's me."

He was struggling to push open the bars.
Then the old turkey said,

"What are you trying to do?"

Looking embrressed, he said,
"I'm unleashing you,"
while sucking in his cheeks.

Spider Letters 3

Dear Orb Spider,

Please come, I don't want to call either.
Why don't you call Crab Spider?
Ask her if she likes fruit fly pie,please.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
Black Widow

P.S.Tell her just like I told you.
P.P.S.You can write a letter to her.
P.P.P.S.Crab Spider's phone number is (I8U) 789-AAAH.
Thank you for accepting all the P.S.,P.P.S.,and P.P.P.S.'S.

Spider Letters 2

Dear Black Widow,

I'd love to come.
I'm sorry I didn't call
but you can call me.
Guess what?
My favorite food is turkey fly.

Love,
Orb Spider

P.S. My phone number is (I8U) I87-TOO5

P.P.S. Can Crab Spider come?

Spider Letter 1

Dear Orb Spider,

A big brown turkey fly landed in my web,
I am going to host a Thanksgiving party with it.
And we have water bug drinks too!
With the turkey fly I will also have smashed "potatohopper"
and dessert will be fruit fly pie.
It will be at my web.

Love,
Black Widow

P.S. I have mint bugs.

P.P.S. RVSP: (I8U) I8A-BUG1

Pets

Cats and dogs
plus big fat frogs.

I want a pet today.

A funny bunny
or a goldfish
as gold as honey.

Lies, Lies, Lies

Hi! I'm here today to tell 6 lies I made up!

So here is Lie #1:
I have two stuffed animals and both of them can talk.
Lie #2:
I have a tree in the back yard that gives me lunch and dinner.
Lie #3:
I love avacados and my least favorite food is green beans.
Lie #4:
Today I saw you peeing in your pants,
setting fire to your house and,
jump off a cliff.

Yawwn! I'm tired.
I think I'll stop here.
Yawwn!

AAAHHHH!
a...a.a.... GIANT!
AHHHHHH!

Help!

Well..ummm...
I
Yawwwn!
I zzzzzzzzzz
zzz Bye! zzzzz.

Made Up Jokes

by: Isabel and Ethan

J1: What docter hurts you the most?
A1: Dr. B. N. Payne.

J2: Why did the T-rex cross the road?
A2: To get to the people.

J3: Why did the crocodile cross the lake?
A3: To get to the cat tails!

J4: Why did the mouse chase the cat?
A4: It was oppisite day!

J5: Why did the bear cross the road?
A5: He saw some bees!

J6: Why did the popsicle go to the hospital?
A6: He was melting.

J7: What do you get when you have a snake with ten feet?
A7: Nothing. Snakes don't have feet!