Once upon a time, when the earth was still young, the hare still slept at night and worked in day like all other animals. One day while the hare was still in bed on a sunny spring morning, he heard a knocking at his door.
“What?” he mumbled sleepily.
“It’s me! Speeecial delivery!”
Hare slowly bounced to the door. He contemplated what this could be. Heron was the mailman for the entire country, and door deliveries were rare. As he sluggishly opened the door, Heron wagged his finger at him and held out a letter.
“You better be faster if you’re going to work for the king.”
“What? Really?”
Hare snatched the letter out of Heron’s hand and tore it open, scanning over the basics of the letter. It was true! He had been accepted as the Chief Courier to the King!
“You’re lucky that the king is accepting you after the incident with Tortise. You better be on your best behavior.”
Hare grimaced.
“I’m different now! Really! But I’m still faster than everyone else, and no offense, but even you!”
Heron looked at him skeptically and then shrugged, resigned.
“Whatever you say, Hare.”
The next morning, Hare was on his best behavior. He woke up at precisely 5:30 AM and got to the palace at 6 to meet the wise Elephant that Lion had given his crown to in his dying breaths. At the minute the sun’s first rays touched the king’s throne, he knelt with his head bowed respectfully. He heard King Elephant lumber up to the seat and sit himself down.
“Ah, hello Hare. Congratulations on becoming my Chief Courier. Not everyone can do it, you know. You did a very fine job on your intelligence test and your sprint times were amazing! But I’ll cut to the chase. I’ve found that you have not been very dedicated during previous events. Obviously competition does not spur you into action, as shown in your history. So I’ve decided to go on an honor system. If you deliver my letters and packages properly, nothing will happen. I’m willing to give you a second chance, Hare. So today, I’m giving you this packet to read by tomorrow. You can start delivering then. Since I just started my rule a few months ago, I have had few packages to send until now. Anyway, you may return to your dwelling and begin reading.”
Hare fidgeted uncomfortably, still waiting for Elephant to tell him he could rise. After a few minutes, the king realized his mistake.
“Oh, my apologies, you may rise. I’m really sorry, like I said, I’m new to this business.”
Hare looked up, grateful, when he saw the packet. His eyes bugged out.
“Ah, yes, it is a bit big, isn’t it? Well, I have complete confidence in you. Now, go on!”
Hare went back home and sighed. He looked at the packet again. He began leafing through it when after lunch, he began to feel drowsy. He thought to himself One nap couldn’t hurt, right? I have 17 full hours before I really have to read this. Plus, I am the fastest animal in all the savannah, so I shouldn’t have a problem. So Hare laid himself into bed and dozed off, dreaming about his job as Chief Courier, racing around at top speed and being the hero of the entire country.
Hare was jerked back to reality and looked at the sun outside. Oh no! The sun wasn’t there anymore, just the moon. It was already 11 o’clock! Hare panicked and started madly flipping through the pages. Owl, who was nocturnal to begin with, saw this and he coined the term “Mad as a March Hare”. But that’s another story. So when Hare finally finished the booklet, it was already 5:30 and time to get ready for his first day at work.
King Elephant looked at Hare, standing at attention... kind of. Hare felt completely exhausted, but he couldn’t figure out why. He told the king that he was ready for his first assignment. The king skeptically raised an eyebrow but nonetheless gave him the package for delivery that was clearly marked in bold red print “IMPORTANT: TO BE DELIVERED TO COUNCILMAN FROG ASAP” Hare blearily focused on Elephant.
“So, um, who am I delivering this to?”
King Elephant frowned and pointed to the package. Hare grinned.
“Oh, yeah. I knew that. I’ll deliver it ASAP, Your Majesty.”
Elephant looked disapproving again, but still waved him away.
“Go on. You do know where Councilman Frog lives, correct?”
The king chuckled at his own joke. Even the smallest children knew where the infamous Frog lived. In the giant red toadstool house, the distinctive color was hard to miss.
“Well, maybe. The...um... purple one, right?”
The king looked at him incredulously and decided that he must be going along with his joke.
“Yes, yes, just go on.”
Hare rushed out of the palace and sprinted toward the purple house in the next district. He had the entire day to make a 6 hour journey, round trip. This would be a piece of cake! He hopped as fast as he could until he became unbearably tired. It was only 8 o’clock! He flopped on the ground surprised at the sudden bout of fatigue and his eyelids drooped. Well, I do have 22 full hours to make it to Frog’s purple condo and back right? So a measly 1 hour snooze wouldn’t make a difference.Even if I didn’t make it, I can run faster than the wind itself and make it to Frog’s house and back. Hare closed his eyes and drifted off to dreamland once again...
Hare bolted upright, startled at the sudden cry of “HOO HOO” in his ear.
“AHHHHH! What was that for?”
“Hoo! I thought you might be injured so I HOOed as loud as I could to see if you were awake.”
“Well, I’m awake now. Hey, I thought you only awoke at night, not the day.”
“Hoo! Well, if you use your eyes, it is nighttime. It’s 12 o’clock.”
Uh oh. Hare looked around and realized his dire situation. He jumped up and told Owl that he was going to Frog’s house to deliver his package.
“That might take a while. You’re 2 provinces away, right? Hoo!”
Double uh oh. Now Hare had only 6 hours to hop the full trip of... Hare did some quick calculations. Triple uh oh. The full trip of 8 hours. This might be a problem. He had to get going, pronto!
“Gotta go Owl! See you around!”
He ran off, leaving a trail of dust in his wake.
The next morning, Hare looked even more disheveled than the day before. He had made it to the palace... at 8 o’clock. He looked meekly up at the king.
“Now, Hare, I would like to know what all this gossip going around is all about.”
Hare was stunned. His mind raced. What had happened? Gossip? What was there to gossip about?
“Why does Owl report that she found you sleeping in the next province over at midnight with your package still undelivered? And that you were sleeping the day before that and waking up at 11 to start reading as ‘mad as a March Hare’? And that she found you every single night before that partying or doing last minute work?? Many of your neighbors also report that you have been sleeping frequently throughout the day.”
Hare thought back. He had partied and procrastinated quite a few times, but it didn’t seem like that much. After all, he was so fast. He had never had problems.
“If you are going to sleep the day away and stay up all night, you might as well be nocturnal! Hare, I was obviously wrong about you. I know better know that you are unresponsible. But the best punishment is giving people the thing they want most. So I, as King, officially decree that you, Hare, and all of your descendents must be nocturnal and not do any day duties, instead doing night duties, since that seems to be what you love most!”
Hare slunk off, mortified, and was ridiculed by the entire country because of his procrastination. Added on to the previous Tortise Incident, the teasing and mocking was ramped up to even higher levels. Some animals even stayed up late just to tell him about it. But soon the craze had faded away into just a memory. Even to this very day, Hare still remains nocturnal in fear of further taunts of “Half-Asleep Hare” and “Slowpoke Sleepyhead”.
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